Selfish Delights
by EmpressLillyMichaelis
Summary: SEQUEL TO RUST TURNED RICHES- all I can say I read and you'll see... I do not own Kuroshitsuji characters, the plot and Lillian and other OCs are mine but nothing else. SebastianxOC
1. Chapter 1

"I am going to my study. Do not disturb me," Master entered the manor from the rain filled outdoors. Ciel was a bit grumpy; there was a tense meeting being held in the manor later on today. Honestly I was more than a bit nervous myself. I knew one of the nobles and his butler. It hand been two years since they left England.

I hurried off to the kitchen to prepare a nice meal for the nobles during their meeting. My heart raced at the thought of seeing my dear friend again. I dazed off often during my work, thinking of his emerald and glistening autism leaf orange hair. That friendly, yet mysterious smile sent my heart into a frenzy. Scenes of his departure two years ago filled my mind. We had met due to our master's and became best friends. He and I used to scout through forests and plant the most beautiful flowers. His lips so gentle against mine...

"Did you hear me?!" Sebastian hit the counter, breaking me from my happy memory. I glared at him.

"What?!" I yelled back, irritated by his appearance in the same room as me. Things between Sebastian and I were not all lovely dovey between us. His betrayal had sent my rational mind into a frenzy; I now had a deep rooted suspicion for everything he did.

"The young master would like something sweet before his meeting. Since you are gracing the kitchen with your presence, I figured you could make him a nice dessert." Sebastian moved closer to me. On instinct, I backed up until my lower back bumped the counter. Sebastian put his hands on the counter on either side of me and leaned in.

I narrowed my eyes at the bold man, but otherwise ignored his actions. I had anticipated Master's sweet tooth. With a long gaze at my pocket I thought and smiled. I had opened it quickly, observing the time, then closed it smiling at the golden gift. There was a leaf design on the watch stained the same color as my gifter's hair.

"Lillian," Sebastian sighed.

I looked up at him momentarily,"The cake on the counter should suit him well," I finally answered. Sebastian touched his forehead to mine. I moved my hands to his chest to push him away, but he caught my hand.

"Do pay attention to your work sweet Pamuya," he bent to eye level with me. He then brought my hands up to his mouth and kissed them gently. Sebastian then let me go and cut a piece of cake for master.

I continued the meal preparations. While the beef roast was in the oven, I freshened up. Today was important...for the young master, of course. He would be discussing potential partnerships. A servant in the manor of the Phantomhives should not look disheveled. Master had also ordered that everything look presentable, that includes myself. Sebastian lectured me this morning about behaving and looking as a proud representative of the Phantomhive lot. Surely the dress I was now contemplating on wearing would not be too much. Unlike my uniform it would cover the large vines with silver roses on my forearm (the vines grew from when she killed all if those vampires). The dress had been a gift from Sarah, a light navy blue off the shoulders number. Cream fabric flowed from the sleeves, just at the elbow. There also cream ruffles across the wide crew neckline, at my bust keeping me modest. Around the waist there was a cream ribbon that tied up in a glorious bow on my left hip. The skirt of the dress picked up and ruffled like waves on a beautiful night.

It's decided I am wearing the dress.

"Mey Rin!" I called praying she would hear me.

"Yes, Lillian!" She ran in obviously frazzled my yelling. She must have been close. I smiled Nashville at the young maid.

"I'm sorry to have startled you I just need help lacing up my dress." I felt better about wearing the dress when I saw that Mey Rin was wearing a pretty purple dress instead of her uniform.

"Oh of course," she walked behind me, obviously relieved that I was not cross with her. Mey Rin pulled the strings taught and tied it nicely.

"Thank you so much Mey Rin." I smiled at the young maid, then put my apron on. Mey Rin hurried off to finish her work. I slipped on brown and cream heels. My hair had grown tremendously after the show down with those vampires. Finny had convinced me not to cut the cascading waves of my hair. I combed it to one shoulder and put it in a low pony tail with an ivory ribbon.

I flirted to the kitchen, pulling out the delicious looking roast.

"Perfect," I smiled as I added it to the lobby array of food and sweets on the counter. As I admired my work, I felt hands brush against my waist.

"You should be sure to tie this ribbon," Sebastian murmured. He tied it in a big elegant bow on my hip.

"Thank you," I said curtly. I pulled light brown gloves out of my apron and put them on before taking off the food stained apron.

"You look absolutely ravishing," Sebastian smiled a creepy smile at me. There was a tense silence before I heard horses coming up the drive.

"The guests are arriving," I murmured then pulled my watch from my bodice. They were right on time.

* * *

**The first chapter is out!**

**-Empress Lilly**


	2. Old Friends

My heart raced as I went quickly to Master's study. I knocked lightly.

"What?" Ciel demanded. I opened the door a bit and smiled softly at my Lord.

"Master, the guests are arriving."

He stood with a bored sigh,"Very well, take me to the conference room."

"Yes, my Lord," I curtsied then led him to the meeting's venue. Mey Rin was already there standing next to Ciel's chair. I nodded to her then went to the foyer and stood by the door waiting for Sebastian. I obsessively smoothed my hair, worrying that the wavy hairs had escaped the ribbon. Once I was sure every hair was in place I went on to fiddling with my dress.

"What is wrong with you love?" He smiled mockingly.

"Open the damned door," I growled.

Sebastian chuckled then threw open the doors to the manor. I held one open and Mr Tanaka came and held the other.

"Welcome to the Phantomhive manor," Sebastian and I spoke together, plastering on fake friendly faces. Nobleman, after nobleman strode in as carriages pulled up, one after the other. Some smiled back at me, some ogled, others gave me disdainful sneers. I paid them no mine. I only had eyes for my friend.

"Lillian? Lily Alice Rose? Is that you?" A friendly familiar voice captured my attention. He was a round man wearing a very nice suit. His white beard and hair gave great contrast to his always rosy cheeks.

"Lord Alexander," he is the noble I knew thanks to Sarah. This meant that surely his butler was not far away," oh, my Lord how was Italy?" I shook his outstretched hand.

"Oh fine fine, the cuisine is just grand. I put on few pounds there, yes!" He laughed his great infectious laugh. I giggled, Lord Alexander had always been round, he really hadn't changed much, "is Lady Eradessa attending the meeting?"

My smile faltered and I looked up at the old man.

"No...My lady...She was...She passed. I work here at the Phantomhive manor," I tried to cheer up my smile," my Lord let me escort you to the meeting."

"Oh of course. My condolences. You look beautiful it would seem you are being treated quite well here."

"Yes." I nodded smiling at the white bearded man.

"If only I had been in town, we would have been happy to have you at the estate. Ethan would have burst with joy. The boy is quite fond of you. Speaking of, I don't see a ring on that finger...Ethan" he suggested raising an eyebrow.

"My Lord!" I said embarrassed.

Lord Alexander bounced with laughter, hid jolly laugh filled the halls.

"I'm just teasing you, Lillian, though Ethan wouldn't be opposed to the idea."

My face warmed and my whole body felt like it was on fire. I looked down smiling bashfully.

"Here we are, I will see you when I deliver supper."

Lord Alexander smiled at me, and entered the melancholy room.

I walked to the kitchen in a daze. If Lord Alexander was here then surely Ethan was too.

"Meeting old friends are we?" Sebastian brushed his hand against my cheek. I assembled the food on carts wordlessly, ignoring his existence.

After supper was served and I had cleaned up I found myself more than a little disappointed . Ethan was no where to be found...perhaps he wasn't here after all...

I found my way to the garden. The half moon shone brightly. White rose petals rode the summer breeze. I walked through the grass, smelling the sweet air. Such a wasted out fit for someone not even here. I wandered about for a few minutes only to hear Sebastian's voice, the very last thing I wanted to hear.

"Lillian you are needed in the manor." Sebastian called from behind me.

I sighed and turned around to face his direction,"What more could you want. I practically cooked supper on my own; Bard helped me for God's sake!" I stomped past him, disappointment put me in a bad mood. I entered the manor pouting.

"Lil!" Ethan closed the distance between us with a few long strides, I met him half way not quite believing it was him. Ethan picked me up in a tight hug and spun me around. I caught sight of Lord Alexander's smiling face. He must have called for me.

"Ethan?" I questioned then lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at his face. Those emerald eyes were alight with so much joy, joy only his eyes could hold.

"Oh, my dear autumn," hugged him back and laughed. I kissed his cheek and held him tighter.

"Moonlit summer night!" He set me on my feet," oh more like white sandy beach caressed by night."

"You flatter me," I looked down at my feet, smiling like an idiot.

"Lil you haven't changed at all, still as beautiful as ever..." He put a finger under my chin making me look into those hypnotic green eyes. His face moved closer to mine and every memory of our years together flooded my mind.

Sebastian cleared his throat loudly. I turned my head to glare at him.

"The meeting is re-commencing," Sebastian stared daggers at Ethan. Ethan smirked then looked to his Lord.

"Oh stay here, catch up. I don't need you hovering over me," Lord Alexander grumbled.

"My Lord shall I at least escort you back to the meeting?" Ethan asked.

"Oh no, no. I'm sure this fine butler will show me the way. Now go, be gone, both of you."

I felt like we were children sent off to go play.

Ethan grinned,"Yes, master," he turned to me and I grabbed his hand

"I know a nice place," I glanced at Sebastian who seemed to still be glaring at Ethan, before I ran off towing Ethan to the garden. There was a stone bench within a ring of white rose bushes with a beautiful view of the moon.

"Hey, your birthday is coming really soon isn't it. The 16th right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, looking down at my hands. They sweated, from nerves, in my leather gloves.

"We have to do something," he smiled widely.

"These guys don't know about my birthday."

"So it's true. You work here now. What about your lady?"

"She passed," I looked up at the sky holding in tears. Ethan's hand brushed my cheek as he moved my hair. I rested my head on his arm. He put his arm around me. I thought about how close we were, he was my best friend...perhaps something more...I'm not sure. What do kisses mean? I've been kissed so many times I don't know. When he holds me is it for me or him? I just don't know.

Sebastian POV

I observed the two in the garden, under orders no less. My Lord had grown suspicious of Lord Alexander and his butler. Lillian, however; seemed to really like the two. She also seemed content in that pathetic man's arms. This girl still held my attention and she seemed to have string feelings for this Ethan. Unfortunately, the last month had held a change of heart for Lillian about me. It would seem my apparent betrayal inspired a but of animosity. She won't even hold a decent conversation with me unless it pertains to the young master.

"Do you remember when you first came to the Williams' estate and you and lady Eradessa had a snow ball fight in the front lawn?"

"Yes, and she got me soaked with snow. Or that summer you pushed me in to the koi pond!"

"That was an accident," he laughed.

"Yeah sure, Ethan. I never got an apology for that. I had to get a fish out if my dress, it was humiliating." She punched him in the ribs.

"It was an accident I apologized a million times Lil, plus you got your revenge."

"Oh yeah the squirrel," she covered her face.

"That was harsh."

"I admit it was a bit much...but it was funny to see you jump around with a squirrel in your pants...I sorta feel sorry for the poor creature."

"Thanks Lil," he laughed and pushed her away. She pushed him back. Soon they were standing and chasing each other until Ethan caught her and pulled her close. He held her face and moved in, bending to make up the height difference.

My hand found a near by tree, Lillian stood frozen and wide-eyed. My grip on the tree tightened as he moved closer. I could hear her heart quicken in anticipation. Their lips touched and the tree crumbled. Lillian stared wide-eyed as Ethan kissed her. Eventually of course the kiss ended, and Lillian stood with a perplexed expression.

Ethan looked to the manor and sighed. The meeting was ending.

"I have to go," Ethan spoke sadly. Lillian looked up at him and nodded her face blank.

"Visit and write, don't let two years go by without a word," she punched his shoulder playfully.

"I will visit, but only if you come to Lord Alexander's ball and let me celebrate your birthday with you."

"Fine, fine," she agreed then hugged him,"Blessed be my dear Autumn forevermore." She bowed grandly.

"And a prosperous beloved and blesséd life to my dear night," he bowed to her then left.

The moment he was out of sight, she punched a nearby tree.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why Lord?! What have I ever done to deserve this?! Damn worthless, surly, cold, demon!" She threw her tantrum then fell to the ground sobbing.


	3. Hurt

I left the less than composed maid to her lonesome, and followed Ethan to his Lord.

"How is she?" The rather round man asked seriously.

"Quite alright. My Lord, I do believe Lillian will be happy at the estate," he smiled joyously, but there was something about the man that made me narrow my eyes in suspicion.

"Yes, yes me too. You must remind me to get the young lass a nice birthday present."

"Of course," Ethan helped the old man into the carriage then took his seat at the reins.

At what point did Lillian agree to go live at their estate? I do not recall that part of their conversation. With Lord Alexander and Ethan gone , I went back to observe Lillian. She sat on the ground holding a white rose . She looked like a lost fairy tale as the moon shone upon her. The dress she wore was perfect for her ; it caressed her petite frame and small waist while keeping her hips and bust modest. The way she sat made the skirt of her dress look like waves of the night ocean. Her hair was held nicely in a ribbon, framing her face beautifully. A rush of wind played in her dark tresses, beckoning a few hairs out of the restraints of the ivory ribbon. She brushed the unrestrained hairs behind her ear.

"Love me, love me not? Love him love him not. Oh this is stupid, what the hell can a stupid flower tell me," she groaned and looked up at the sky,"well ...mother did this for father...and he loved her more than anything...Oh... What was the song lyrics?"

Did she always speak to herself? It is cute, in a disturbing way. She hummed a soft tune, one she hummed often.

"Oh, my dear friend used to sing it all the time...what was it?"

She hummed the tune again. Lillian then looked back down at the flower.

"The water is wide, I cannot get o'er

And neither have I wings to fly.

O go and get me some little boat,

To carry o'er my true love and I.

A-down in the meadows the other day

A-gath'ring flow'rs both fine and gay

A-gath'ring flowers, both red and blue,

I little thought what love could do.

I put my hand into one soft bush,

Thinking the sweetest flow'r to find.

I prick'd my finger to the bone

And left the sweetest flow'r alone.

I lean'd my back up against some oak,

Thinking it was a trusty tree.

But first he bended then he broke,

So did my love prove false to me.

Where love is planted, O there it grows,

It buds and blossoms like some rose;

It has a sweet and pleasant smell,

No flow'r on earth can it excel.

Must I be bound, O and he go free!

Must I love one thing that does not love me!

Why should I act such a childish part,

And love a boy that will break my heart.

There is a ship sailing on the sea,

he's loaded deep as deep can be,

But not so deep as in love I am;

I care not if I sink or swim.

O love is handsome and love is fine,

And love is charming when it is true;

As it grows older it groweth colder

And fades away like the morning dew..." her song ended as did her pulling of petals,"I love him..." She sighed as she dropped the last petal.

"You do?" I had unconsciously allowed myself to meander towards her during her singing of the old song, "The water is wide." She looked up at me sadly and pat the ground beside her. To be honest, the invitation surprised me. She rarely ever wanted my company. Nevertheless, I sat beside her. For a moment we only sat. She watched the moon and fiddled with rose petals.

I looked down at her; she was beautiful and everything a lady of my interest should be and if I had to define my favourite physical attribute of hers it would be her eyes. To those of human intellect her eyes would be dark, boring, and dull, but I saw the depths. Humans wished not to look too far in to black. Her eyes had just the slightest tint of brown in the limited light, showing a deep abyss into endless mystery, and clever mischief. In the light of the shining Sun, her eyes appear to be the sweetest chocolate, filled with innocence and naivety, a true night and day transformation.

My favourite mental attribute of hers is the simple fact she isn't easily smitten. I've never wanted a woman like I wanted her. This is simply due to the fact she doesn't want me. There is nothing more entertaining than prey with a fighting chance to get away. Her full lips beckoned to me in a taunting manner, showing me something I wanted and could not have...at the moment. Sometimes, she would open her mouth as if to speak, then close her mouth, bite her lip, and remain thoughtful. The urge to reclaim those lips was almost overwhelming..I had to be sure she was mine and no one else's. As of now her lips had been touched by some unworthy nuisance.

Her bottom lip trembled, tears fell from her eyes, and she tried to wipe them away only the gloves she wore were of no service to tears. Lillian pulled off one glove with her teeth and wiped her face. She then looked straight up to the sky.

"For days I've thought about this moment. The moment where I boldly confront you, call you every wretched name I know, in every language I know...but I was lying to myself. I am not truly angry with you. I know why you did it ...still there is a sense of betrayal," she paused and looked down at her hands where they rest in her lap," What we're you supposed to do? Your master gave you an order, you follow your master's order ,like a dog, without any thought of your own personal preference. I knew this, I know this. What did I expect?" She laughed humorlessly," I am so stupid so naive to think a low life soul sucking demon could actually love me. Oh God it hurts, like you took the only hope I had of love! I guess you wouldn't be the first to use me...you'd just be the second, perhaps the second of many, only some how you are so much worse..."

How could she compare me to him?! I am not some bloodsucking pest with a God complex and to say I am worse. She is absolutely disgraceful! In a quick movement my hand was around her throat and face centimeters. Her breath came quick as she stared wide-eyed at me.

"Do not compare me to him...such words are utterly disgraceful, practically a curse."

Tears came to her eyes and her body shook,"Are you going to force me to pledge my love," she said with venom. I let her go and moved away from her.

Her voice was higher than usual and marred from tears"You're worse because...you got to me. I always knew my love for and from Amun was not true...but with you...I thought it was real...and you took advantage of that..." She looked up at me with a steely glance," the worst part is I can't kill it, my love for you is still as real as ever and I hate it!" She all but yelled. I kept my face impassive, I didn't move or breathe, I just stared at the girl. I had not realized just how bad the backlash of my actions would hit. She wiped her face again and smiled, a sarcastic movement of muscles. "I don't know why I'm explaining this to you. Can you even fathom my depths? Demon, can you even learn enough to love? Have you the capacity to do more than feed? Does my pain mean a thing to you, or was I just you nightly activity. Work and pleasure all in one. Oh my expectations are just too high! I honestly expected you to be like me. How foolish! You are not like me and I am not like you. I have heart, you have a cold void that was abandoned long ago."

I had hurt her, but she was right. What had she expected? Still, I wanted to contradict her some how, but she was absolutely accurate, and I had no answers for her questions.

"I have a heart," that was brilliant.

"We all have a heart," she sighed," I don't expect you to understand." She lie back in the grass looking only at the sky.

Why do I care what this woman thinks about me? She is not essential to my goal. She was only, as she said, a nightly activity. Something more than the ordinary, an extraordinary hobby, that's all she is. I couldn't just let her stay angry with me, that would end my nightly affairs too soon.

"What if I said that I have no idea how to console you?" I admitted with a smirk.

"What if I said, I'm not surprised."

"And what if I said that I do love you." Those words seemed to work with women.

"I'd say prove it, you cheeky devil."

I thought of everything I could do to make her feel the way she once had. Some women would be swayed by a kiss of passion, and promises, but somehow I think that will hurt more than help in this situation. Lillian always appreciated a listening ear, so perhaps that and a little comfort would suffice. The situation was delicate.

"I did not know of your fear for Amun. I knew your despair, and I knew your hate, but I never thought fear. The story I knew wouldn't necessarily point to fear.

"Would you like to know the rest of the story?"


	4. sick

" Yes."

She closed her eyes,and took a deep breath, preparing for her story. I noticed her hands shaking a bit.

"Come here." I demanded.

She looked at me questioningly. I sighed and moved closer to her and lie back in the grass. I watched the night sky and waited for her to speak. She cleared her throat then began.

"Once I was his queen, I was also his possession, and his entertainment. He used to lock me in a room and starve me for months, just so ,when I was able to feed, I'd drink myself beyond awareness and he could do what ever he wanted to me without a fight. Of course that's when he was being nice. Some nights he would simply have the guards chain me to that damned dungeon wall. Perhaps he led drink from me, or cut me open and let my blood collect on the floor. On his cruelest nights he'd chain me to the ground and let his dogs tear away at me. I would get this punishment for any act of defiance or if he just felt like it. Once he went so far as to put the lions against me. That backfired. The lions took one look at me, shivering, bloody, and crying on the ground and attacked him instead. After their act of kindness he tried to make me kill them. I couldn't, I wouldn't, many of those lions I had raised from cubs. To hurt them after they spared me was simply something I could not do. I took my punishments. Each punch, kick, stab, and brand, I took it without wavering. Seeing my resolve he did it him self and threw the carcasses in my room. It was like having the bodies of your own children thrown to you. He made sure I knew I was next. He starved me for two years, and I prayed. I prayed for salvation, for some sort of way out. On the 14th of December he took me to the dungeon, chained me to a table and tortured me to death. My body and soul was taken by mother moon, she renamed me and breathed life back in to my body. After that he dragged me back over and over again but I had a new fight in me and each time I managed to escape, so we play cat and mouse until the day he dies or I give up."

She played with the ribbon from her hair. I thought for a moment ,analyzing the information. This didn't seem like some story to get pity, Lillian also didn't seem like the type to do such a thing. She seemed too small and delicate to have gone through such things. My purpose was comfort so I would give it. I turned my head to look at her then put a hand on hers.

"You deserve a break," it was the truth. This girl has been running since she was at least 13 she is now 2017, anyone in such a predicament should be entitled to a momentary lapse in productivity.

"A break would be nice, but Master needs me,"She sat up and stared at the stars before turning her gaze to me," You have nightly duties to attend to Michaelis."

"You are correct," I informed not moving.

"Go, I need to think," she dismissed me.

"Very well," I stood and she looked up at me, her face a familiar mask.

"Sebastian, nothing has changed between us," she informed in a hard voice.

I smiled. She was wrong; everything had changed. Lillian would be mine, and mine only. I'm not quite ready to give up my nightly hobby.

Lillian POV

I took off the pretty dress of cream and night and put on my uniform. My day started off fairly easy, with polishing and shining. Then I had to clean the kitchen from an accident, the accident being Bard cooked. I then fixed the China cabinet that Mey Rin broke before Sebastian found it. Later, I lost my temper with both Mey Rin and Bard for they demolished the dinning area with what ever they were doing before I walked in. My temper was soon put in check when I saw the fear in their eyes. I fixed the mess and went to the garden to get herbs. Finny hadn't destroyed anything yet, so I congratulated him on being accident free. After that of course, he tripped and knocked a statue into the stone garden, breaking the statue and ruining the garden. I comforted him as he blubbered apologies. Again I fixed a mess before Sebastian could find it. Thusly, I managed to avoid all contact with Sebastian.

Master was not well today. I could sense his heavy illness. I was worried, so I made a late night snack for my young master as an excuse to check on him. A made a very fragrant, very delicious caramel cremé cake and warm milk with honey. Sebastian would be attending to finances at the moment so I wouldn't run in to him. I knocked on Master's chamber door, knowing he was awake.

"What do you want?" his voice was hoarse. I opened the door even though that wasn't exactly an invitation. I set the tray with his snack on the night stand. He looked so sickly. His hair stuck to his face from sweat, his skin was pale, deathly pale but his cheeks burned fiery red, as did his nose.

"Oh master you are even more ill than I suspected." I gasped. I could have kicked myself for not coming sooner. The window was closed and the room somewhat stifling. I opened the window quickly.

"Yes, yes do not fawn over me," he croaked with his usual arrogance. A fit of coughing seized him and it was most violent,"What do you want?" He asked

"Well I've come to make you feel better," I smiled softly.

"Cake and milk? That is supposed to make me feel better?" He asked incredulous.

"Master," I said with false surprise," it is the general understanding that sweets make every situation better, if only by a little bit." I helped Master sit up in bed ; I was immediately disappointed in Sebastian. He had allowed this child to lie under such heavy bedding with an alarming fever. He was soaked in sweat.

"Oh Master this just won't do. With a fever like this you'll pass in the night. Come, let's get you cooled off," I pulled the cover off of him and cradled him in my arms.

"What are you doing?!" He demanded pushing away from me.

"I'm only giving you proper care," I assured him. With a simple thought a cool bath was ready for the young master.

I set him on his feet in the wash room, beside the tub and began undressing him.

"I am sorry, my Lord, this bath may be a bit uncomfortable for it is not very warm, but I must insist upon it. Your temperature is much too high. You do honestly run the risk of brain damage or death if it keeps increasing as it is. I can not allow either, then your mission would not be completed," I said firmly.

"Very well," his cheeks seemed to darken in shade. Could he be getting hotter? I touched his face, he was hot but no hotter than before. I stared in his eyes for a while he broke eye contact; he was embarrassed. I had already removed his night-shirt. I didn't want my master to feel uncomfortable.

"I will go retrieve your snack. You can finish up here," I smiled warmly, then left the room. How could Sebastian neglect Ciel in such a way? The poor boy could have died! Some butler he is.

I came back to the wash room with the cake and milk.

"Master, the water is not too cool?" I questioned. His eyes were closed as I entered, his head and arms resting on the edges of the white porcelain tub. When I spoke he opened his blue eye the other remained closed hiding the mark of his contract.

"No it is nice," his voice was tired. I set the tray on a nearby stool and gave the cake and milk to my master.

Master seemed content enough, so I moved to deal with the bedding. I changed it to a lighter type. I fluffed the pillows to perfection. Next I got out a new night-shirt for master . It was made of thinner fabric. After things were absolutely perfect, I went back to in to the wash room. Master had fallen asleep in the cool water, his milk drank, and cake eaten. His peaceful child-like appearance brought a smile to my face. I picked him up out of the water, dried him gently, dressed him in his night-shirt, then put him in bed. I rubbed my hand through his hair then kissed him softly, ridding his body of the toxins plaguing it.

I watched over master as his fever subsided. What ever Sebastian and master had done in the rain the other day, had seriously taken my master's health.


	5. letter

Lillian POV

The night was still young; I collected the dishes from master's snack and took them down to the kitchen.

"There you are, Lillian. Where were you?" Sebastian asked as I entered the kitchen. I only glared in response, then proceeded to was the dirty dishes.

"A letter was delivered earlier, but since you so skillfully avoided me all day," his voice seemed to harden,"I had not the chance to give you said letter." Sebastian set an envelope ,with the Williams' seal on it, on the counter. The clock monogram that was the seal of the Williamses made me smile. I had my guesses of who the sender was.

I dried my hands on my apron and took the letter. Ethan would be the only one to contact me from the Williams Manor. The thought of Ethan made my eyes prick. I didn't want to read the letter in front of Sebastian so I went back to Master's room. I opened the letter; it was an invitation to the Williams Summer ball. I flipped it over and saw Ethan's handwriting.

"Lillian, perhaps at this ball we can revisit our time together prior to my leaving. I've missed you terrible in my absence. You seem different now, like you have gained a freedom and a new burden. I want to see you as you once were, happy, radiant, and absolutely willing to love. Someone has broken you, my dear flower. I have a fairly good idea of who. Know that men like him only ever hurt fine, beautiful women like you. You deserve someone to cherish you. Come to the ball, I will show you all that you deserve.

-Ethan Shaw"

Ethan was always able to read me like a book. I would ask master about the ball, perhaps he would let me go on account it was on the date of my birthday. I stood with a soft sigh, a smile still lingering on my lips, until I yawned. Tonight I was rather weary; I went to my room and prepared a bath.

The warm water was relaxing , I hummed softly in contentment. I closed myself and thought of memories of Ethan. Only months after meeting him I absolutely adored him. He was just so charming and nice, not like any man I had ever encountered. Ethan was...different, he didn't make sexual advances, he was never too rough, or boring he was...perfect. Not like Sebastian, who played with me. Every touch wasn't a demand like Amun. Every kiss was soft and loving. Had I ever had a better kiss. My mind went to the first night with Sebastian. I stopped myself.

"You're thinking of me," Sebastian said eerily.

"Well you are in the same room while I am bathing." I had forgotten that nuisance of a butler had a blood tie with me.

"You seem angry with me, dear love," he said with overdone innocence.

"I am irritated with you. I thought you might take care of your food."

"My! What ever do you mean?"

I scoffed,"One hell of a butler my ass."

"Do you take relief in insulting me?" He touched my collar-bone, tracing its shape.

"Actually, I do but it's no fun if you don't squirm."

"Perhaps I deserve your harsh words. I had no idea what to do for my sick master," I could feel the wicked smile on his face as he rubbed down my arm slowly.

"Perhaps you aren't nearly worth your cost," His hand tightened on my arm.

"Aww did I strike a nerve?"

"You are rather disrespectful tonight. What a surprise you are usually an amiable young maid."

"Sweet as sugar, hard as ice, darling."

"Is that right?"

I nodded sinking deeper into the tub. I hummed a soft tune from my childhood and ignored Sebastian.

"Do you still love me?" His hands played in my too long hair.

I continued humming, a bit louder now than before.

"Tell me please."

I sighed, "I care whether or not you die...despite your state of being, I wish you happiness."

"Lovers wish those thing for one another."

"I wish that for everyone, now, and let's say for arguments sake that I do love you. Could you genuinely love me back? Could I ever have a true future with you and would you wish for my happiness...even if it wasn't with you? Would you care if I died?" I asked my voice started off strong but ended weak.

He didn't answer and that produced a small sad smile from me. I finally knew what I was to him.

"That's what I thought." I murmured.

Sebastian grabbed my hair roughly pulling me upwards. My eyes shot open just before his lips crushed mine. I pushed him away and fell back into the tub. Water as splashed everywhere.

"Do not talk about dying," Sebastian face was suddenly inches from mine. His eyes glowing as he glared in to my eyes.

"I still love you," I whispered. I don't know why I admitted it, or what made me," but...but I don't trust you" I added.

"I love you."

I scoffed

"Is my word not enough for you?" He challenged moving away from me.

I stood in the bath tub, then stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel,"Your word, is just that to me, words. I say prove it." I dried myself and put on my underwear and uniform. A wicked smile graced my face. I kissed his cheek before dismissing him, stealing a little something from him.

While preparing master's breakfast I sung the same song from my childhood. I decided to take his breakfast up to him.

"Master?" I knocked at his door. There was no answer. Could he still be sleeping it was 7:30 AM? I entered his room quietly. Master was so peaceful in sleep. Unfortunately, the morning was upon us and it was time for the little master to wake up. I set his tea on the night stand, then through open the curtains. The sun was something both beautiful and haunting to me. It always brought a faint ache, a longing for my sister.

"My Lord, it's time for you to awake," I said in a warm voice, just loud enough to rouse him from sleep. Ciel groaned; I flitted to his bedside and poured him a cup of tea.

"Master, you have green tea, and an assortment of scones this morning."

Ciel POV

I had hoped for green tea with my breakfast and strangely I got it without request. It had been this way for a while now. Anything prepared by Lillian was exactly suited to my tastes. My sleep clouded mind registered that Lillian was waking me, instead of Sebastian. How odd. I wasn't curious enough to inquire why.

"Master, how do you feel this morning?" Lillian asked pressing the back of her warm hand to my forehead and cheeks.

"I feel fine," she had seemingly cured my cold with cake and milk. I can't say I disagree with that method of treatment,"Lillian do you know my schedule for today?"

She moved quickly across the room with inhuman speed,"Indeed, I do." She stopped in front of me where I sat on the side of my bed, "After your breakfast you have your lessons with Sebastian. Unfortunately, Ms Hemly has fallen ill. Of course because. Sebastian is your tutor you won't be done until 1:30 PM. I will be sure you get proper lunch and snack. I might even still you away from that old task master," she dressed me as she spoke,"at 2:45 you have a meeting with Lord Williams, his said the matter was ever important, but he didn't specify the problem. I would expect it to pertain to his lack of an heir and his inclining age. Lady Elizabeth will be visiting this evening and you have a letter from her majesty the queen." She tied my eyepatch quickly then smiled at me. Lillian was not much taller than myself, maybe an inch or tell in difference.

"The letter from the Queen," I requested. She pulled two letters out of her apron, one with the royal seal and another with a clock. She gave me the royal sealed one. I must say, she moved quicker than Sebastian, without losing her human façade. While I drank my tea I read the letter from Queen Victoria. My new case revolved around the disappearances of young children all over London.

There were two knocks at my door then Sebastian entered. His eyes widened then narrowed as they rested on Lillian. There was a tangible tension in the room stemming from the two of them; it was rather annoying.

"Lillian, prepare a room for Elizabeth. There is no doubt that she will stay the night here. Also, I want you to find some distraction for her while she is here."

"Yes, master," she smiled brightly, fisted her hand over her heart and bowed. I noticed how intently Sebastian watched her as she left, I thought maybe he had some nonsensical unrequited love for the maid, until she looked back at him a bit sadly, but all at once her face hardened and she left the room quickly.

Sebastian must have gone too far with my orders a few months ago. These silly glances had been going on since May, it got old very quickly.

"Sebastian...What ever THAT is between the two of you, resolve it," I ordered.

"My Lord, whatever do you mean?" His face was too innocent to trust. That butler was full of it. I stood with the letter and went to my study. On my desk were files and newspapers all stacked neatly with a small note on top. It read:

"These are all of the records pertaining to the disappearances.

-L.R."

"How did she-" I wondered out loud. The seal of the letter had not been broken when I received.

"My Lord, your studies."

"Fine."


	6. Desserts

Lillian POV

"Bard! You make not killing you very difficult! What have I told you about this kitchen?! What part of don't touch anything didn't you get?!" My hands shook in their fists. Bard took a step away from me, fear was apparent in his eyes. My irises had probably changed to crimson. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Bard get out of here," I sighed. On the bright side he had only damaged my dessert, lunch was still intact. I had made a nice citrus punch with assorted Swiss sandwich rolls.

I could not quite get myself together enough to start another dessert yet. I was trying to suppress a fit of rage.

"Anger won't get me anywhere," I took a deep breath, then smiled as the scent of peaches filled my nose. My eyes snapped open as an idea made itself known. I picked up the lunch tray, and pitcher of punch and headed to master's study. Music flooded from the room as I approached the door.

"Young master," I called as I knocked," your lunch."

"He is studying," Sebastian answered while opening the door a bit to look at me. I scoffed and bumped the door all the way open with my hip and entered.

"Master, your lunch." I set the plate and glass down on his desk and poured a bit of punch in it. I held the tray under my arm and turned to leave.

"Lillian wait," Ciel ordered. I stopped and turned around. Master held the small note I had left on the files pertaining to the case the queen had assigned to him.

"How did you know?"

"Call it a sixth sense, I was also prepared for three other possibilities,"I smiled, master stared at me for a bit,"May I go, Master?"

"Yes, go."

I walked quickly out of the study and to the garden. I followed my nose to the peach trees around the back of the estate.

"Finny!" I called as I passed the trees. I heard a rustling of leaves then the sound of massive stampeding feet. A large white dog came bounding towards me. Master brought the demon hound after returned from their last mission from the Queen. I had chosen to stay here and look after the manor. A town filled with dogs wasn't really my forte. I put my hand up, perpendicular to the beast's nose.

"Sit!" I ordered, my voice echoed through the garden. The dog skidded to a stop, sitting his bottom on the ground. Once he stopped, his nose was touching my hand.

"Good. It would seem you are becoming a well-behaved mongrel." I grumbled, then pulled a treat out of my apron pocket and threw a treat to him as I walked on.

For good reason, I do not like dogs. End of story.

I continued through the peach trees looking for the elusive Gardner.

"Finny!"

"Ah!" The scream came from just above me; I held out my arms and caught the falling gardener. As he fell in to my arms, a bucket fell in his lap, and in the bucket peaches fell in. All the peaches, except for one, fell in the bucket. A solitary peach hit Finny in the head.

"Oh, it raining cute little blonde boys!" I laughed setting Finny on his feet.

He blushed and laughed,"Sorry."

"May I have these?" I asked

"The peaches?" He asked.

"Yes, I need to make a dessert for master."

"Oh no problem!" He gave me the bucket.

"Thank you!" I kissed his cheek and ran back to the manor.

The peaches would do well in a cobbler. I took the peaches to the kitchen, washed them, cut them up, then put them in a bowl with butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and nut meg. I let that marinate and moved on to making sweet dough. My fingers kneaded the dough smoothly and easily while I hummed a soft tune. Once the dough was properly kneaded I turned on the oven. I pressed the dough into a pan and poured the peach mixture on top of it, then put more dough on top of that and glazed it with brown sugar and butter. The sweet-smelling dessert then went in to the oven. While that was cooking I cleaned the mess I had created, dashing from counter tops and spreading sanitation. The smell of peaches brown sugar filled the kitchen.

When the dough on top was golden brown I removed the cobbler from the stove. I then checked the time.

"Damn," I cursed, there wasn't nearly enough time for this to cool. I looked around for witnesses, then snapped my fingers. The cobbler cooled to a lukewarm state, a temperature more fitting for my young master.

I cut a nice square for Ciel, and prepared a quick milk tea. I bolted out of the kitchen. The snack would suit master's taste well; I knocked twice on the door then entered. I checked my time, 2 hours not bad. I set the plate of cobbler, and cup of tea on master's desk.

When I looked up from my watch, I nearly laughed out loud. I had to fight not to burst in to hysterical giggles. Sebastian was waltzing with the young master; only Ciel looked more stressed than I had ever seen him, and was terrible at dancing.

"M-master your... tea and snack," I laboured not to laugh. Ciel tried to move as a, but Sebastian held him in place.

"Your lesson is not over," he chided.

"It is hardly a lesson, how is he supposed to learn with someone so obviously male. That's hard to get past, why don't you dress the part, Sebastian."

"You are correct, a bit of visual aid would be helpful...Lillian why don't you help the young master," Sebastian smirked mischievously. I smiled softly and bowed.

"I would be honoured...after he eats."

"Very well, Sebastian, prepare for my meeting and be sure that the three vessels of mass destruction stay out of the way." Ciel ordered taking his seat at his desk.

"Yes, my Lord."Sebastian bowed and left the room. Ciel eyed me warily.

"Do not worry. I am not going to subject you to such a cruel form of torture. Eat."

As I stood in his study, certain thoughts started to worry me. I had to say it. The matter had been bothering me for a while now.

"Is there something you want to say?" Ciel asked.

"Master, I am your guardian. In May...You did not have to order Sebastian yo figure me out. I am more than willing to share my story. Also, you didn't have to order him to turn me over Amun. The fact of the matter being, you can ask anything of me. I am your guardian my purpose in this life is to serve and protect you. I know everything about you. I can feel your every desire. You do not have to depend on that parasite to guide you to your destiny. You also can not be rid of me, for we are linked now."

Master just stared at me blankly.

"Anyway, I just wanted you to know that," I smiled then checked the time," you have good hour before Lord Alexander is due; would you like to look over the case, master?"

"Yes," he pulled a few files from the stack I put on his desk earlier.

"All of the parents reported that when they woke their children were simply gone." I said.

"Perhaps it is the start of the rapture," Ciel laughed, it was very short-lived.


	7. Proposals

Lillian POV

"Is there a link between the families?" Ciel asked

"Nothing other than living within 9 miles of each other."

"Someone is able to steal all of the children within 9 miles without being seen or heard. This person is not working alone."

"Or this person is not human. I have a friend who might be able to help us with that."

We sat in silence for a while as my Lord looked through the papers. I thought about how in the world I was going to get a hold of my friend. She was ever elusive...And did I really want to find her? Her name is Eve and she never stays in one place for long. She knows of every creature on earth, and their where abouts. Eve has a high price for her services, but perhaps since I'm a friend I'll get a discount.

I collected master's dishes and took them to the kitchen. Cleaning could be a peaceful task, if I didn't have a demon stalker.

"Parasite am I?"He whispered in my ear.

"Tsk tsk, Mr Michaelis. You know what they say about eavesdroppers. They never hear good of themselves."

"You are right, but me a parasite?"

"Yes. A dirty leech that preys on desperate souls." I said simply.

"Oh sweet Lily you think so little of me," he kissed the back of my neck, his hands rubbing down either side of my body. From my ribs to just below my hips, his hands traced my silhouette.

"Give me a reason to think highly of you," I moved his hands from my hips, then turned and flicked dish water in his face.

His brow twitched in irritation," Do you honestly need a reason for everything? Just feel, do what your hearts tells you."

I rose an eyebrow replaying his sappy generic words then got an idea. A sly smile spread across my face, "Okay, I'll try."

I closed my eyes and thought for a moment, deliberating the best way to execute my plan. I moved quickly and splashed water all over Sebastian. Laughter made me weak as I nearly fell to my knees. Sebastian looked livid, but I couldn't take him seriously he looked like a wet cat.

"You look like a drowned cat!"

"This is funny to you?" Sebastian pulled me against his body, his hand placed firmly at the small of my back.

"Absolutely hysterical," I answered, still laughing.

"You will pay for this."

"Oh will I?"

"Yes."

He and I glared at each other until the steady tread of horse hit the drive.

"I will escort Lord Alexander to the venue of the meeting. You get cleaned up and retrieve the master." I moved Sebastian's hand and started for the door.

"Welcome, Lord Alexander, Ethan." I said warmly and moved aside to let the gentlemen in.

"Hello, Lillian," Ethan smiled at me. I lost all thought, and stared at his beauty.

"Lord Williams, this way," I faintly heard Sebastian say.

"Oh yes, yes. Ethan," Lord Alexander called. Ethan winked at me and I felt my face warm. He followed closely behind his master, still smiling.

"Don't swoon," Sebastian mocked before guiding the two.

"I am not going to swoon," I murmured knowing he would hear me. The three vanished down the hall.

"Plu, plu!" Mey Rin yelled chasing a naked man across the foyer and out the front door. I stared after them confused beyond belief.

"What?" I murmured,"um..." I watched the two run across the yard. Mey Rin looked as though she needed help so I stepped outside with the intentions of helping her, but I realized that I had no idea what she was trying to do.

Water splashed down my body absolutely soaking me. I screamed out of surprise.

"I said you would pay." Sebastian spoke smugly.

"I will rip your bloody throat out!" I yelled, turning around and making a grab for his throat. Sebastian moved out of the way and wagged his finger in front of my face.

"Ah ah ah, you will have to catch me first." He darted of in to the gardens.

I growled in frustration and bolted after the butler. Catching him was rudimentary, I was faster and more agile than any demon.

I jumped over the butler landing right behind an irrigation pump. I kicked the valve and water sprayed all over Sebastian. Once I deemed him liberally soaked I closed the valve.

Sebastian walked towards me with a look that could kill.

"Don't touch me," I said warily backing away. He moved faster and I turned tail and ran. As he chased me I didn't even realize I was having fun.

Omniscient

Mey Rin looked behind her, searching for the source of the screams and laughter. Her far sighted eyes focused on Lillian and Sebastian. She smiled at the sight. She had never seen Sebastian truly smile before. Mey Rin laughed when Sebastian finally caught Lillian . Lillian screamed as Sebastian caught her from behind. The soaked fabric of his suit got her clothes wet and she pushed away instinctively. Lillian was having more fun then she had had in years, temporarily forgetting she was supposed to be mad at the butler. The butler himself forgot she was mad at him. He spun her around in juvenile merriment and for the first time he felt a whisper of the genuine happiness that brought laughter.

This scene was joyous to all except one. Ethan watched from the second story window jealousy brewing like a storm.

Lillian POV

I pushed Sebastian making him lose his balance. Unfortunately, he pulled me down with him and I landed on top of him. I scrambled off and pouted, remembering that I was mad at him. Without my consent, my eyes glanced at Sebastian only to look again and stare.

"What?" He asked looking amused. I mentally smacked myself and tore my gaze away from.

"Nothing."

"Well surely it's something."

"It's...just that I don't think I've ever seen you smile ...or laugh...or show any true emotions of any kind."

His smile left and his eyes held a different emotion, one that froze me in to place. Sebastian moved my hair from my face and rested his hand on my cheek.

"I never felt until I saw you."

I scoffed and looked away from him, at the horizon,"That's a line."

I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. I am angry with him, he betrayed me, I can't feel for him.

"It's true." He murmured.

I laughed looking at him,"How stupid do you think I-"

His lips crushed mine, and my lips moved with his in odd and familiar patterns. A tingling warmth spread throughout my body, like magic.

No, I am supposed to be mad, he betrayed me.

"Lillian," Sebastian spoke, breaking the kiss and touching his forehead to mind.

"Yes?" I watched his face and saw him bite his lip and look away from me.

"What?" I said with a sigh. I knew exactly what...And this time he wouldn't be lying.

"I...Love..You."

"Can you even do that?" I asked laughing.

"I can do what ever I please."

"Unless your master says other wise."

"I can love you."

"Hmm. You know this would all be a lot easier if you didn't. Then I could hate you."

"Perhaps the easiest way isn't the best," his eyes pleaded with me. I pressed my cheek to his, and hugged him.

"How can I deny you when you bare yourself to me this way. It just complicates things. Now come on, let us see to our master," I stood pulling Sebastian up with me," Sebastian can I ask you a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Don't get all soft and lovely dovey with me, it'll freak me out."

He scoffed and walked past me,"That's not in my nature."

He walked so I quickly I had to jog to catch up.

We entered the manor quietly and without even a sentimental gaze, Sebastian went on to do work.

"Lil!" Ethan called.

"Yes!" I glanced up as he descended the stairs.

"It's been a while since we spoke."

"Not really Ethan, but I do miss your company."

"I suppose any time away from you is too long."

"That's sweet, I-" there was a crash in the dining room,"Excuse me."

I ran to the dining room and saw the clumsy maid pinned under a China cabinet.

"Oh my Mey Rin are you alright?" I pushed the heavy cabinet off of her.

She was crying hard and her words made little sense.

"Mey Rin darling you have got to slow down. Where are you hurt?"

"My...my ankle."

I looked to her leg that had been under the cabinet. It was broken. We didn't nearly have enough staff for a maid to be rendered useless. I would have to heal her.

I touched her injured leg and let my flow strength enter her. As the energy took away her injury it etched it on to me. I felt a terrible pain in my leg it was pounding hot and searing.

"What happened?" Ethan asked.

"Find another staff member and ask them for bandages Mey Rin has had a bit of an accident."

He ran put of my sight. I could not continue healing the maid, too much of the injury would come onto me and I would be rendered useless, if only for a few days. The pain seemed to resonate all over my body, but it was nothing, nothing compared to what I have been through. Ethan was back with bandages and I was able to extract the glass and wrap her ankle for bleeding.

"Are you okay to stand?" I asked

"I...I think so," she got up slowly wobbled a little then walked on.

"Find someone to help you clean up this mess." I ordered, sighing.

"Yes ma'am." She ran off in pursuit of help.

"Don't run Mey Rin!" I shook my head.

I struggled to stand, the agony ripping through my ankle like a chainsaw. I was right this was nothing compared to what I had been through but it was enough.

"Hey, whoa," Ethan caught me as I swayed and fell.

"I guess I have a little bit of a sprain."

"Well let's get you somewhere you can rest."

Ethan carried me to the sitting room and sighed.

"Well I guess we can talk now huh?"

"I suppose, what is it you want to say?" I smiled trying to ignore the incessant pain.

"Lillian are you alright?" Sebastian asked entering the room in a "convenient" time and coming towards me.

"Quite fine," I answered.

He narrowed his eyes. He, of all people, knew how much pain I was in. Through our blood connection he could feel it.

"You know I do not like liars," he knelt in front of me and removed my shoe.

"It's just a sprain," I assured.

"You have a tendency to understate things." His hand moved under my dress.

"Sebastian!" I pushed his hand away, my face flaming.

"I cannot examine your injury with your panty hose in the way." He explained exhaustedly.

"But-" I looked over at Ethan, mortified by the scene playing out before him.

"My apologies," he said to me, "I suppose I did not notice him. Sir, would you be so kind as to leave us so I can tend to her injury."

Ethan opened his mouth as if to speak, but then looked at me as if for reassurance.

"It's okay, we can talk once he's done, Kay?"

He nodded stiffly, then sent a glare to Sebastian, before standing and leaving the room.

Sebastian held a semi amused smirk on his face,"Catching up with old friends are we?"

"Something like that." I sighed.

Sebastian worked quickly, undoing the garters and pulling down the hose.

"Yes, well, your old friend should tread lightly."

I gasped and kicked him in the forehead. Unfortunately, I did this with my injured foot. Sebastian looked up at me, his eyes blazing an odd fuscia color.

I clenched my jaw tight and stared him down,"Do not threaten my friends."

"Fine," he went back to examining my ankle,"So would you mind telling me how this happened?"

"Why? I'm sure you already know."

"You can not heal everyone. You'll be called a heretic."

"Not if you play your cards right. Any way, we need Mey Rin working and I'll heal in no time."

"I suppose you are right." He took off his gloves and turned my ankle this way and that, while I cringed and hissed," however, this is more than sprained."

"Just wrap it up." I growled.

"As you wish."

While Sebastian wrapped my ankle I wondered lightly what could Ethan want to say to me. It had to be something big. The way his brow would twitch every now and again showed some anxiety, but what could have him so anxious? I remember when he told me he was going to Italy. His brow pushed together so tightly with anxiety that I thought for sure the wrinkles between them would never go away. His teeth worried his shell pink bottom lip relentlessly. Those perfect plump shell pink lips...on a cinnamon sprinkled canvas of olive tone. His hand ran through the tussled Autumn of his soft hair. Perfection...

Sebastian said something. I looked down at him blankly,"Pardon?"

"Master has called for us." He said again. I stared at his face, taking note of the annoyed frown plastered on his pale lips. I think I detected a bit of a pout. Part of me wanted to pinch his cheek and call him cute the other part, wanted to taste the silly jealous pout...Jealous? Could he be jealous?

"Alright, let us go then," I put back on my hose and shoe then walked to my master.

Sebastian put his hand around my waist for support as we got to the stairs.

"Lil," Ethan called.

"Sorry, master has called for me, I will talk to you as soon as I can."

His face fell a bit and I felt bad. I tried to turn but Sebastian held me to his side. I looked back to Ethan and saw a look that maybe I wasn't supposed to see. He glared at Sebastian with pure hate. Oh my, Ethan is never pleasant when he's angry. I looked quickly up to Sebastian only to see him smirking, he all but radiated smugness. I looked behind me again and saw Ethan smiling that handsome smile of his. Perhaps he was not angry after all... the sight of his perfect smile made my stomach become frantic butterflies. When I looked back at Sebastian he was expressionless but obviously angry. What the hell?

Sebastian opened the door for me.

"Master, you called?" I said as I entered.

"Yes, Lord Williams brought it to my attention that you have a marriage proposal," Ciel said with astounding indifference. I was stunned in to silence. After a moment I was able to speak.

"I...I do?" I had no recognition of having been proposed to. Surely I would remember such a thing; I mean, I remember just about everything else. Though...if Lord Williams knew about it then...

"Yes, you do," Ethan spoke from behind me. Pain rippled through my body. Closed my eyes and clenched my jaw the agony marking my face. Why now when everything was so complicated, why not yesterday when everything was clear. I turned around slowly and opened my eyes slowly. Tears threatened to spill over as my gaze swam. I blinked hastily and stared down at the most perfect ring. In a simpler world, I would say yes. I would kiss him and hug him, he'd take me to the cottage we bought when we were younger and in a month or so I would be Mrs. Lillian Alice Shaw. If the world was simple, if I were human, if I didn't have my master, and if I didn't also love someone else. I harden myself no one would know just how hard and painful this was for me. I took a deep breath and curled my trembling hands into fists.

"Ethan I cannot accept your proposal. Please stand," my voice was soft, but void of emotion. Mechanical and careless just like any other guardian.

"Is there another?" He said looking up at me with those big emerald eyes I fell in love with. They glistened like the gem in the sun, wet with tears. I decided to tell him the truth. How could I lie with such a heart broken face looking up at me?

"There are two others that bind me, for I am attached to them. My master has the lion's share of my heart. I cannot leave him; he needs me," I could feel the surprise in the room,"I can understand if you think me wretched, and if you this is the last time I see you then I want to thank you for the years of friendship and love you have provided," I turned to master," Master, I am sorry my personal affairs have affected you. May I be excused?" My voice was quiet, the calm facade was wearing fast.

"Go," Ciel sighed.

I fought to keep from running out of the room, once out I wanted to punch something. The grief of losing a friend threatened to crush me. I leaned against the wall beside the door for a while, desperately trying not to cry. Crying is for little lovesick girls who haven't tasted hell. I have, I've been dragged across the very pits of hell. I didn't cry then, and I am not going to cry now.

"Don't cry, don't cry. No don't do it!" I pleaded with myself.

"Lily are you alright?" Mey Rin asked.

I smiled brightly instantly," Never better. Oh do you think you can help me with something?"

I walked down the hall with the maid and made myself forget all about the proposal. Ethan was nothing but a fantasy. I had my priorities.


End file.
